“Welcome To The United States! How Long Will You Be Staying?”

A recent post by Irshad Manji on understanding each other has gotten me thinking about the issue of assimilation. What level of responsibility do immigrants assume to fit in and what level of responsibility should the host country shoulder to make immigrants feel welcomed. Her post argues that Muslims, specifically, must make an effort to get to know Americans and their culture. It is not fair, she states, for Muslims to always expect Americans to know everything about Muslim culture. This could be applied to all groups of people. A brief piece from her post:

“…when mainstream Americans fail to fathom traditional Muslims, it’s Americans who must change. Full stop. But when Muslims misunderstand Americans, it’s not Muslims who must change. It’s not Muslims who must take responsibility to educate themselves about the complexity and nuance of American life. Nope. It’s Americans who must do all the heavy lifting to improve perceptions about themselves.

That’s what you call a double-standard.

Let’s be honest, people: Reconciliation between “Islam” and “the West” can’t happen without reciprocity. Understanding, by definition, has to be mutual.”

Her blog post also reminded me of a conversation I have had several times with my friend’s partner, a White American. A bit of background information on him. He voted for Bush twice. He is a self-proclaimed patriot and defends America with all his heart. I can respect that. But when we get into conversations about immigration and immigrants we tend to get into a bit of a verbal tussle. He believes that anyone that chooses to move to the U.S. must denounce not only their previous citizenship but their firmly rooted cultural beliefs as well. Assimilate or be assimilated.

I am thinking there has to be an in between here. Immigrants, I agree should learn about American culture and the ways of life here, especially if they choose to make a life here. But I also would like to believe that this really is a land of immigrants and that we are not a melting pot. I would like to believe that our cultures and identities have not melted or washed away into one amorphous blob of indistinctness.

Even though as separate groups we still celebrate our religious holidays and eat our traditional foods I wonder if in our collective consciousness as as a society we even know why we celebrate Cinco de Mayo, Mardi Gras or St Patricks Day. Holidays like Diwali, Eid, or the Chinese New Year or not part of the mainstream yet. I am not saying every American should have to celebrate these holidays. While, I am a fan of playing Christmas tunes of my piano, I don’t think every December all of us should be subjected to the same three Christmas Songs in all the stores, airports and now even public open spaces in a country where Church and State are supposed to be separate.

So maybe the truth is even the pot has melted? Maybe amidst the debates about multiculturalism, identity politics, assimilation, acculturation and all those other heady words, it is those who have been engaging in word games that have lost the real game-the game of daily life.

I am watching the tele, magazines, news coverage, “cultural” events, school programs and all the other mainstream stuff and I still feel pretty left out of the dominant narrative. So for someone like me who wants to be a part of it but who also wants the real me to be represented in those parts, I ask:

What responsibility do we all have to each other as we share these borders of this country called the United States of America? How do we enjoy, understand and gain from each other’s differences without killing our collective soul? And where are we headed and how long will we stay in this place called America?

Welcome to the United States and how long will you be staying?